When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
- chicken...
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:00 pm
- Location: Pasadena, TX or on the water!
- Contact:
When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Wasn't feeling too good earlier in the week and wanted a short trip, so I passed up a trip to Matty to fish Trinity with a couple of lawyers . Anyway, the lawyers set-up the trip complete with maps, tides, snacks, the whole 9 yards! These guys are lawyers and not to incriminate myself, lets just say the pic of the yak saids it all. The pic was taken AFTER the yak was dragged on grass, set on the trailer and wind blown dry the 45 mile trip home. The cockpit, gear nor myself didn't fare any better . For those of you who know the upper reaches of Trinity Bay, the platform nearest Fort Anahuac had DRY land all around it, yes it was that low . As I said earlier, to not incriminate myself, my lawyer friends will remain annonymous, but y'all had the tides BACKWARDS ! Needless to say, after 3 ocassions of dragging the yak through 600 yards or so of mud, we made it back to the launch before the Coast Guard was called .
Oh I had a limit of reds 21", 22" and 25 1/2", also caught 2 dozen or so "aquarium sized" trout, so I guess you could say we really had to grind this one out . I'll let the lawyers post up if they want to disclose their identity , but they both had limits of reds too. Didn't get a pic of the big red, the pic of the structures were by the platform and I ran out of memory in the camera before I got to the platform, but you get the idea as it was LOW tide !
Oh and thanks for the snacks, I'll take care of the tides next time .
Happy Fishin'
chicken
Oh I had a limit of reds 21", 22" and 25 1/2", also caught 2 dozen or so "aquarium sized" trout, so I guess you could say we really had to grind this one out . I'll let the lawyers post up if they want to disclose their identity , but they both had limits of reds too. Didn't get a pic of the big red, the pic of the structures were by the platform and I ran out of memory in the camera before I got to the platform, but you get the idea as it was LOW tide !
Oh and thanks for the snacks, I'll take care of the tides next time .
Happy Fishin'
chicken
Last edited by chicken... on Thu Dec 23, 2010 5:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
- chicken...
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:00 pm
- Location: Pasadena, TX or on the water!
- Contact:
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
And the pic of that LOW tide. . . . .
This is in the MIDDLE of the bay !
Happy Fishin'
chicken
This is in the MIDDLE of the bay !
Happy Fishin'
chicken
- Dandydon
- TKF 1000 Club
- Posts: 1547
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:26 pm
- Location: The Heights, on my bayou
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
I refuse to identify the lawyers you're talking about (was it young Shoffer & Dandydon?), but I do know you farted around for a couple of hours north of us, catching undersized trout until you came back to the "Redfish Reef" discovered by Young Gun Shoffer who had 2 nice slot reds before you or I caught one (& figured out the redfish wanted soft-plastic mostly white lures)! I was inspired by his fishing & paddled up near him, so I started catching slot reds, too, one after another, on my glo-white Hackberry Hustler.
Yes, the tides were awful, but that is the work of God, not 2 attorneys who tried to make your trip a meaningful experience. I know it got more meaningful after the seas receded & left us high & dry & "landlocked," having to seriously joke about staying on the bay until high tide at daylight on Thursday! Hey man, I had no kayak lights and the rubber soles got walked off both my tennis shoes! I was trudging in "sock bottoms" over a bay pummeled by Hurricane Ike with who-knows-what sticking in that mud!
Yes, we did drag our kayaks over 600 yards of disgusting bay mud, but this lawyer was also carrying all the slot reds we caught, about 65 extra pounds on his overloaded fat Hobie, while you dragged your sleek Tarpon 14 over those mud flats, joking about me having a heart attack!.
So to sum it up, we made it back alive with 9 beautiful slot reds, you have a true "horror story" of the "Trinity Mud Incident" for your grandchildren, & the lawyers with you kindly presented you with fine free drinks, snacks, a kolache & Russell Stover chocolates after we returned to the launch about 6:30pm in pitch dark conditions with swarms of mosquitoes attacking us. Chicken, you did give me your slot reds, so thank you, but please simmer down and thank the Lord for the fishin' lawyers who take such good care of you. OK, OK, we'll let you figure out the tides next trip... Happy fishin', tight lines, & Merry Christmas. P.S. I understand your Amigo Saltykat didn't catch squat the same day over on E. Matagorda. I guess fishing with the attorneys was a pretty good idea after all...
--Dandydon
Yes, the tides were awful, but that is the work of God, not 2 attorneys who tried to make your trip a meaningful experience. I know it got more meaningful after the seas receded & left us high & dry & "landlocked," having to seriously joke about staying on the bay until high tide at daylight on Thursday! Hey man, I had no kayak lights and the rubber soles got walked off both my tennis shoes! I was trudging in "sock bottoms" over a bay pummeled by Hurricane Ike with who-knows-what sticking in that mud!
Yes, we did drag our kayaks over 600 yards of disgusting bay mud, but this lawyer was also carrying all the slot reds we caught, about 65 extra pounds on his overloaded fat Hobie, while you dragged your sleek Tarpon 14 over those mud flats, joking about me having a heart attack!.
So to sum it up, we made it back alive with 9 beautiful slot reds, you have a true "horror story" of the "Trinity Mud Incident" for your grandchildren, & the lawyers with you kindly presented you with fine free drinks, snacks, a kolache & Russell Stover chocolates after we returned to the launch about 6:30pm in pitch dark conditions with swarms of mosquitoes attacking us. Chicken, you did give me your slot reds, so thank you, but please simmer down and thank the Lord for the fishin' lawyers who take such good care of you. OK, OK, we'll let you figure out the tides next trip... Happy fishin', tight lines, & Merry Christmas. P.S. I understand your Amigo Saltykat didn't catch squat the same day over on E. Matagorda. I guess fishing with the attorneys was a pretty good idea after all...
--Dandydon
- chicken...
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:00 pm
- Location: Pasadena, TX or on the water!
- Contact:
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Let's just say that reef was "new" to y'all . I was exploring when I ran across those "aquarium sized" trout as I was looking for some new waters in the area. Trout have eluded me for the most part in that area and I wanted to find some, just not that small .
It was a good time on the water, er I mean mud and yes in spite of you 2 lawyers !
Happy Fishin'
chicken
It was a good time on the water, er I mean mud and yes in spite of you 2 lawyers !
Happy Fishin'
chicken
- capt carl
- TKF 1000 Club
- Posts: 1214
- Joined: Sun May 13, 2007 11:15 am
- Location: seabrook-bridge city
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
thats what you get for trusting lawers.now that you are back check your billfold
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Good meeting all of yall, and Chicken..... thanks for the red, my family thinks you too. I fried it up for supper and fed the whole family, I put the other two keeps in the freezer for a rainy day......
- chicken...
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:00 pm
- Location: Pasadena, TX or on the water!
- Contact:
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
It was nice meeting you too, lcso41 and glad your family enjoyed the meal.
Holler when you're fishin' that area again. . . . .
Happy Fishin'
chicken
Holler when you're fishin' that area again. . . . .
Happy Fishin'
chicken
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Never trust a lawyer you should know better. Nice fish though and glad you made it back before it got too late.
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
You do know the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road right? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Great story Chicken! Reminds me of floundering with my older brother when I was about 12. We would flounder all night out in West Matagorda Bay and a few times he would miss a channel and the kid (me) would be out pushing a boat through the thigh deep mud in the dark. Great memories!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
- chicken...
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:00 pm
- Location: Pasadena, TX or on the water!
- Contact:
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
LMAOFlatfish wrote:You do know the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road right? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Good one, thanks for bringing a smile to my face. . . . .
Happy Fishin'
chicken
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Flatfish wrote:You do know the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road right? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
And the skunk smells better.........LMAO
- Dandydon
- TKF 1000 Club
- Posts: 1547
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:26 pm
- Location: The Heights, on my bayou
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Hey guys, if it weren't for great lawyers like Shoffer & Dandydon (along with our buddies Bill Clinton, Hillary, Obama & Michelle), you fools would really be in trouble! We write the laws, we pass them in Congress, we tell the cops like lcso41 how to enforce them, if they're broken we are the judges who judge them, and we sentence people to prison or death for violating the laws we write. Oh yeah, if the laws are unconstitutional, we on our Supreme Court get to overturn them! You are our slaves! (No wonder you hate us )
Haven't you figured out yet WE ARE THE NEW SUPREME BEINGS?! If you make us mad, we might pass laws forbidding kayak-fishing! Be nice, and Merry Christmas everyone...
--Dandydon
Haven't you figured out yet WE ARE THE NEW SUPREME BEINGS?! If you make us mad, we might pass laws forbidding kayak-fishing! Be nice, and Merry Christmas everyone...
--Dandydon
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Well Dandydon..... When you put it like that, I cant believe my ignorance. You are THE supreme being, please forgive my transgression. I am you servant. I'm just a call away... ifyou need your yak washed and waxed. Need fish filleted, or anything else that I can do for you.
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
if you think fish tales from normal fisherman are to die for ...
imagine fish stories from fishing lawyers.
you've got the supreme keeper fishing buddies there ckicken
imagine fish stories from fishing lawyers.
you've got the supreme keeper fishing buddies there ckicken
- Dandydon
- TKF 1000 Club
- Posts: 1547
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:26 pm
- Location: The Heights, on my bayou
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
lcso41, you are forgiven, and I hope to meet up again soon on your home waters. If you don't arrest & cuff us (I could still pedal my Hobie, though!), we Amigos (of the "Four Amigos Team": Chicken, Saltykat, me & Young Gun Shoffer) might give you some more slot fish. God bless, Merry Christmas & tight lines to all.
--Dandydon
--Dandydon
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Please, don't be offended: do you know what the difference is between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish.
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Yes - I was the other participant in the Christmas Eve Eve Eve mudbath. I had a great time with all of you, and I have to thank Robert, our sheriff deputy buddy, who actually told me about our launch point about two months prior. Chicken - glad to finally meet you. I hope to meet Saltykat soon as well. I have to admit to being jealous of that Tarpon you have.
As for all the lawyer bashing, it never offends me. But, I will say that you better hope you don't find me on the other side of one of your cases. I have a long memory... and an even longer stringer of slot reds.
As for all the lawyer bashing, it never offends me. But, I will say that you better hope you don't find me on the other side of one of your cases. I have a long memory... and an even longer stringer of slot reds.
Last edited by shoffer on Wed Feb 27, 2019 5:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Dandydon
- TKF 1000 Club
- Posts: 1547
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:26 pm
- Location: The Heights, on my bayou
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Bingo, Young Gun Shoffer!! You just put the arrow in the bulls-eye, the bullet in the heart, the foot in the groin, the lawyers on our high pedestal.
You may be a rookie, but you are advancing quickly, my apprentice of darkness. Keep speaking Truth and outfishing the commoners. Onward to our Fishing Destiny...
--Dandydon
You may be a rookie, but you are advancing quickly, my apprentice of darkness. Keep speaking Truth and outfishing the commoners. Onward to our Fishing Destiny...
--Dandydon
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Look on the bright side, you will remember the bottom contour when the tides are back up. Good info to tuck away for next trip.
As far as lawyer bashing, I don't do that anymore after I needed one. I think the need for lawyers were created by bad managers and divorces.
As far as lawyer bashing, I don't do that anymore after I needed one. I think the need for lawyers were created by bad managers and divorces.
- chicken...
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:00 pm
- Location: Pasadena, TX or on the water!
- Contact:
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
So standing on a shell at the bottom is a pedestal? As Phishtech said, y'all are scum sucking bottom dwellersDandydon wrote:the lawyers on our high pedestal. --Dandydon
Keep the lawyer bashing going, what a great thread .
Happy Fishin'
chicken
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Re-reading this again for context. Let me say what I should have said then - eat a dick, Chicken, you ungrateful bastard.
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
I have not needed a lawyer for much in my life. But, when I needed one, was glad to pay every cent they asked for.
Man, I need to go fishing.
Man, I need to go fishing.
- Dandydon
- TKF 1000 Club
- Posts: 1547
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:26 pm
- Location: The Heights, on my bayou
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
Our lawyer- bashing Robert Montgomery picked his TKF name well: "CHICKEN!" In several fishing trips he proved himself a blithering idiot. Hopefully after years of NO contact, he'll go crawl under his pet rock again.
P.S. I've never met an engineer as dumb as Chicken. Any refinery he works on is an explosion waiting to happen.
P.S. I've never met an engineer as dumb as Chicken. Any refinery he works on is an explosion waiting to happen.
- Ron Mc
- TKF 5000 Club
- Posts: 5682
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:12 pm
- Location: downtown Bulverde, Texas
- Contact:
Re: When Lawyers Read Tide Tables - 22 Dec 2010
this is why you always use NOAA - give the lawyers a Federal class-action target.
I'll admit from my long experience as a PE consulting metallurgist, including Many plant turnarounds, my work for attorneys was always enjoyable, because they are fun people to hang with - they also see the forest better than young turk engineers. Over 40 years, I've only met one attorney who couldn't take a lawyer joke.
I'll admit from my long experience as a PE consulting metallurgist, including Many plant turnarounds, my work for attorneys was always enjoyable, because they are fun people to hang with - they also see the forest better than young turk engineers. Over 40 years, I've only met one attorney who couldn't take a lawyer joke.